Let’s be honest here, as a parent the only reason you have a Facebook account is to brag about your children. Of the last three billion posts on my personal profile, at least three billion of them have been about my sproglings. Strangely, though, as the number of child-related posts increases, there appears to be a proportional decline in the number of people in my friends’ list. It must be a Facebook glitch.
Yesterday Missy Moo said something that gave me the opportunity for the ultimate brag and one-upmanship of all the other parents out there.
In your face all you other parents!
My smugness and strutting walk lasted about six hours until another parent of a child just a few days younger than mine said that their daughter had said something similar. Well obviously some of my daughter’s genius had rubbed off on her when they were lying side by side on a blanket when they were two weeks old.
Then the parent of another child who my child has never met, said theirs had also declared all-knowingness at the same age.
After that, other parents came forward with similar stories. I guess it’s possible that there are other child geniuses (or is that genii?) around the world.
Her brother decided to test her by asking what 200 plus 200 is. She answered “three”. To be fair she’d only just got up and hadn’t had her first cup of coffee for the day.
More questions followed, which she also got spectacularly wrong.
Finally she declared, “When I said I know everything I meant I know everything about Frozen.”
Oh, right. You and every other little girl, Kiddo.
Does anyone want to hear about the extraordinarily long poo that came out of my child’s tiny bum?*
*(Only reply if your child does regular size poos)