The How to Guide – Sibling Elimination

How to eliminate a sibling without causing offence

Miss 4 created a wonderful cut out family to play with.

cutoutfamily

See the biggest one there? That’s me. I know what you’re thinking – the likeness is uncanny!

As I lugged around that giant arm of mine, I asked her who the other people were. The smallest one is Miss 4 (poor thing has inherited my giant arm syndrome), and the skinny one with only one leg is Daddy. As I keen observer of the lay of the land in our household, Miss 4 told me she’d made me the biggest because I’m the boss.

Unfortunately, Master 6 came along whilst we were discussing our family. Now I should point out that relations between Miss 4 and Master 6 had been a bit strained on that day.

“Where am I,” he asked.

Miss 4 glanced at him as his face crumpled and tears threatened, and without missing a beat said, “You’re in Mummy’s tummy. You haven’t been born yet.” (‘And never will be,’ her expression suggested.)

Despite the obvious flaw with this explanation, he accepted it happily and wandered off.

Sibling Elimination Level: Master

 

PS: Hey you. Yeah you, the smartass teenager who helpfully yelled at me to let me know that I’m fat. It turns out I’m just pregnant with my firstborn – yeah the kid that’s walking beside me. I just need to find the Tardis I misplaced so I can travel back in time to deliver him, and then we’ll see who’s fat!

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