It’s every parents’ nightmare; the fear of being caught in the act by your offspring.
Apart from the time I had my own cheering squad, we’ve been lucky up to this point, but that may have something to do with the fact that opportunities are few and far between when you have young children. When the mood strikes, and you find your desires on the same wavelength, it’s on like Donkey Kong.
Not too long ago, safe in the knowledge that our offspring were tucked up in bed soundly sleeping, our passions were ignited when he said something romantic like, “how about you get your knickers off.”
Obviously the stars, moon and orbiting satellites were all aligned, because there was sufficient stirring in my loins for me to rapidly agree to his suggestion.
Fast forward through some knicker dispatching and a few oohs and aahs, and we’ll get to the part where a stern little voice rang out from somewhere in the vicinity of the edge of the bed.
“WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING??!!!!”
He folded his arms and glared at us for a moment as we started giggling. We muttered something about play fighting, whilst trying to cover ourselves with the duvet that was tangled up in our legs.
“Hmmph,” he said before stalking out of the room. He obviously had a think about it, because a couple of minutes later he was back.
“And what were you doing on top of Daddy,” he said in the same accusing tone. (I wasn’t actually, just in case some of you think I’m raunchier than I actually am.)
Thinking fast, we said that Daddy was just tickling me, and with that he seemed satisfied. Phew. Bullet dodged – for now. It may be a few weeks since the event, but you can bet it will be ticking over somewhere in his brain to be brought up at the most inopportune time.
I’m just thankful I didn’t have an experience like friends of mine who, when caught in the act by their son, told him they were playing hide-the-sausage. The son promptly declared he wanted to play too, jumped into bed with them and started searching for the sausage.
I think I’ll stick with the tickling scenario in the event that the stars ever align themselves again before the kids have grown up and left home.