As every evil Overlord knows, unpredictability is a trait that keeps your Minions on their toes. They should never be able to guess your schedule or motives in case they try to thwart your dastardly plans.
If you find that you have been a little slack in this department lately, then your only option is to throw a tantrum that has your Minions completely flummoxed as to the reason for it. Throw in a bit of sobbing with big sad eyes and your Minions will be doing everything in their power to appease you. Reject all reasonable offers for as long as possible to ensure they start offering the good stuff to make amends for whatever silly thing they must have done to make you so unhappy. It’s probably wise to have a list of rewards that are acceptable to you before your tantrum, just in case the tantrum escalates to a point where you’re so worked up and exhausted that you accidently fall asleep. Don’t aim too high – chocolate and cookies are good, whereas a puppy, Ferrari or diamond tiara for your dolly is probably pushing it.
If you have a sibling, then declaring a tantrum day every now and then is worth your while. Keep the Minions on their toes by starting your tantrum when your sibling is calming down from theirs, and vice versa. After a few hours of this, a Minion will allow you to watch TV for the rest of the day.
A good tantrum should always go for a minimum of 15 minutes. Anything less than this just shows that you’re not making an effort. Some high-achieving toddlers have managed tantrums lasting a couple of hours – they are your inspiration and should be revered.
How to throw a great tantrum
A tantrum should generally follow these lines:
1. Anger at something -
- someone looked at you
- someone didn’t look at you
- you don’t think red is a good colour for a ladybug
- you asked to watch the Cars DVD and Mummy put on the Cars DVD, but you actually wanted the Cars DVD which is not the same as the Cars DVD that Mummy put on even ‘though it is
- your banana broke
- someone stole your nose