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Jun 27

The super dooper diary of a thirteen year old

I recently found my diary from when I was 13 years old.

“Oh how exciting…. NOT,” I hear you all proclaim.

I had similar thoughts, and was just about to give it to my step-daughter who’s almost 13 to read for a laugh, when I thought it prudent to read it first.  Given that I was a goody-two-shoes, teachers pet and extremely nerdy looking, I didn’t think there was going to be much to get excited about, but it turns out there was more going on in that 13 year old brain than I remember.

ermahgerd wern dererkshern

No that’s not me. I was much dorkier looking.

In a well-played bid to ensure no one actually read my diary, the first page is devoted to my period and how heavy it was.  If, somehow, you managed to get past my description of blood soaked panties, and turned the page, you would discover that I was madly, deeply in love with a boy at school by the name of Luigi. To cut some very, very long stories short (this must be where my never-ending drunken storytelling originated), he asked me out, then cancelled and broke my heart, but I still loved him very much, and then he decided he did like me after all, and he got “very intimate” with me (yes those were my words) because he kissed me on my hand and then on each cheek.  Oh how sweet and innocent.

Then the good girl image that I remembered started to crumble with my first act of rebellion against my parents.  My class was going on a school trip but my parents had forbidden me to go because kids were taken in overcrowded cars.  This was in the late 80s when safety was a minor consideration.  I’m not sure whether permission slips were required back then, but that wouldn’t have been an obstacle for me since I’d been practising my parents’ signatures for some time.  I ended up going on the trip in a teacher’s VW Beetle, crammed in with 8 other kids.  The 13 year old me thought this was a great adventure; now, as a Mum, I’m completely horrified.

Obviously I don’t want 13 year old step-daughter to read something like that and get ideas, but there was worse to come. Whilst I knew which body parts were involved in bedroom hi-jinks, I honestly didn’t have a clue about the actual mechanics of it all.  This didn’t stop me from proclaiming repeatedly in my diary that I liked sex.  I also thought it was incredibly funny and clever to sign off as P. Rostitute,  Yep you can all see how immature I was at that age, so it’s very concerning that when Luigi and his pals invited my friends and I on a date with plans to play strip dice and some special alone time, we agreed to go.  I don’t know what would have happened if this date had gone ahead, but fortunately I developed shingles and spent a few weeks at home feeling very unwell.  By the time I returned to school, Luigi had moved on and all my romantic hopes were dashed.

Several pages of angst-ridden teenage drama followed before we packed up our home and moved to Scotland, where a whole new set of dramas awaited me.  Luckily none of the boys at school liked me, so my awakening womanhood was devoted to Duran Duran and A-ha. My adoration of them was bound to result in one or all of them falling in love with me if they could just meet me – bla, bla, bla.  Pretty much like how Miss almost-thirteen goes on and on about the band One Direction.  It’s just as painful to listen to as it probably was for my parents back then.  At least I had better music taste ‘though!

Nowadays kids are a lot more Worldly-wise than we were, so I dread to think what thoughts are going through their heads.  I just have to hope that my step-daughters and my own sweet little girl have better strength of character than I did.

 

P.S. Sorry Mum and Dad

 

1 comment

  1. Susan

    Lori – July 4, 2012 at 1:17 pm
    Oh, this was a trip down memory lane for me as well! I totally would not want my twelve year old acting like I did (and I was mostly a goody two shoes like you!). Yes, some things are meant to stay private. Maybe when she has her own kids I’ll share!
    I was a huge Duran Duran fan and now my daughter LOVES, LOVES, LOVES One Direction. Oh, I can relate!
    It was great to find your blog as part of the Blog Star tour!

    Wub Boo Mummy – July 6, 2012 at 7:24 am
    Thanks for stopping by Lori. If I hadn’t found my diary I wouldn’t be so acutely aware of what might be going through Miss 12′s head right now.

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    Kelley – July 8, 2012 at 3:54 am
    Ha! Yeah, I guess you should keep your “P. Rostitute” days hidden from your daughter. At least now for now. Funny stuff! :)
    (Thanks for linking this up with us over at #findingthefunny last week!)

    Wub Boo Mummy – July 9, 2012 at 7:40 am
    I’m rather embarrassed about that. What a weirdo I was.

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    hollow tree ventures – July 25, 2012 at 11:06 pm
    ERMAHGERD, how did I miss this post before? I must’ve still been catching up after vacation?!? Anyway, this is so funny, and made me realize with horror that I had a diary when I was 13 and I DON’T KNOW WHERE IT IS! This could be bad…
    Thanks for sharing your ermahgerd love! Oh yeah, and I voted for you, too. :)

    Wub Boo Mummy – July 26, 2012 at 6:46 am
    Ermahgerd, thernks fer verting ;-)
    If you find your diary, do share it with the rest of us.

    hollow tree ventures – July 26, 2012 at 7:31 am
    I probably would! Can you imagine? I bet there’d be a month’s worth of posts in it, already written! (I have no shame.)

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