It’s time for another thrilling instalment of “They searched WHAT?” - search terms that led people to my blog. A whopping number of people found my site searching for porn or pron, an achievement I am immensely proud of, although I’m slightly disturbed at the same time. I do have to wonder about the person who stumbled upon my blog in their search for Family Guy porn, or the one looking for sexy mammograms. Whatever floats your boat I guess.
Funny slaving away kitchen
I couldn’t really figure this one out, and a Google search didn’t provide anything interesting, so I figured a kitchen porn picture would be appropriate in the circumstances.
Mmmmm, I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m feeling hungry.
How to spell wub boo
This is a tricky one. Let’s see it begins with ‘W’ and then… Nope, sorry can’t help you.
Fart fire
Contrary to popular belief, I don’t actually have a pyrotecnical arse. In saying that, ‘though, I take no responsibility for any evil deeds my farts commit once released from the depths of my bowels.
Sacrificing goats
My only sacrificial experience thus far has been with chocolate, and by sacrificing I mean eating it to appease me. I don’t even use a ceremonial knife or anything, and the only intonations are “Om nom nom nom.” Hey the God of Chocolate is obviously happy because so far none of that chocolate has gone to my hips. Oh, wait…
Can marmite go bad in an unopened jar
No. While it’s in it’s state of unopendeness it is free from all influences – good or evil. Whether or not it turns to the dark side is dependant on forces present at the moment of opening. A toddler in the house will often awaken the dark side of Marmite, whereby it will use it’s mind control powers to encourage the child to devour and smear around as much of it’s dark, irresistible yumminess before the Mummy investigates why the child is being quiet.
Exercise keeps you fit
Are you trying to tell me something Google?
Sexy time cheering section blog Flight of the Conchords
Boy did this person strike it lucky – Sexy Time
How to store oat slice
I prefer to store mine in my tummy.
Toys sucked up vacuuming
I’m guessing that, like me, you’re trying to work out whether it’s a toy worth saving. Here’s a guide to the noises various toys make when sucked into the vacuum cleaner:
Clink, clunk – Lego
Floosh - Barbie clothing
Whirr kathump – Barbie head, leg, arm or torso
Whirr kathump shreeeeeeeeeeee “Buggrit” *stamps off to find something to poke it out with* - Bratz doll head
Clunk, clunk, splank – Hot wheels car
Clonk Sproing – wind up toys
Plink – crayon
……… – glitter (because that shit doesn’t vacuum up)
Mreeeeooowftzzzzzz – the cat
I’m pregnant and was abducted by aliens
Fran Drescher, is that you?
PS I’ve got the perfect maternity t-shirt for you
Ermahgerd
I don’t know, you put one Ermahgerd picture in a post and people start flocking to your blog. So here’s another. This is the first one I saw that had me laughing so hard I busted a foo foo valve.
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Hey if you like this post feel free to leave a comment, or not, whatever. Or you could do the likey, likey thing by clicking one of the buttons below. You know, but only if you are in to it.
I’ll come to your slaving away kitchen any day!
Cool, I’ll get more slaves then. BTW, his apron say’s “Kiss the Cook”. I studied that picture long and hard to be sure.
New follower from the Blog Hop! Thanks for the goodnight picture
I love your idea of making a post on the search terms–great post!
I am one of your new followers from the Blog Hop and I am looking forward to reading your blog and getting to know you better.
Have a wonderful day and a fantastic weekend!
Great post! I titled a post “dirty underwear” and boy is it a popular post with the freaks! Sadly for them, it’s about house work and the lack thereof! Here from the hop. Nice to meet you and will be following along!
Hi! Found you from the TGIF blog hop!! I can’t stop laughing! I love looking at search terms for my blog. I never actually thought to blog about them though. I usually take screen shots and laugh about them. So glad I found you
hi. i’m on a blog hop. i determined to visit and follow everyone on the list. i would love for you to visit and follow me.
http://www.blackinkpaperie.blogspot.com
thanks
new follower bev
Oh love it! Great idea for a post too
New follower via TGIF blog hop!
Yay, Sexy Time!
Ok, this confirms that I have the freakiest people come to my blog via their search queries. Things about grown men wearing cloth diapers and lactating strippers. Pictures of feet. Cyborg pRon. And my most common in the past month “Attachment parenting is crazy”.
Yep you win on the freaky blog visitors. Now I need to read your blog to find out what inspired those searches.
OH. MY. GOODNESS!!! I love search terms! We get them all don’t we? What a great post! I may have to borrow this idea the next time I am faced with writers block! Thank you so much for linking again, hope you are getting some new readers!
Yes do try it – they’re fun posts to write. Thanks for the opportunity to link up and get more readers.
Chucke, snort! Your blog is hilarious. Visiting and following from the blog hop I’m a mom too!
Thank you Amanda.
Hahahahah! You are hilarious. Found your blog through the TGIF blog hop, and I LOVE it! I’m your newest follower. Looking forward to reading more of this hilariousness.
-Laura
http://www.strollerparkingonly.com
Thank you Laura. I’ll do my best to keep the funnies coming.
Hilarious. I need to start doing a post like this. My fav search term used to find my blog? Little old ladies porn. I still can’t decide if they were old ladies looking for porn or someone looking for porn about little old ladies..