Jan 11
I have a lot of bright ideas that don’t seem so bright afterwards. Now most people can blame a lot of their bright ideas on alcohol consumption, but since I don’t actually drink very often I’m going to blame mine on the lost brain cells caused by having children. My latest bright idea was to …
Nov 30
Weird or inappropriate Christmas gifts With Christmas just around the corner some of you may be struggling to find the perfect present for one of your loved ones. Lucky for you I’m here to help, or not. You know what would make a great Christmas present? A magical unicorn mask of course. But it would …
Nov 26
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you’ll know that my daughter has a habit of getting herself into interesting situations. Take this weekend just gone for instance. It’s been a long time since we’ve been away together as a family, so we were thrilled when our friends paid for us to fly …
Oct 31
The majority of toddlers and pre-schoolers have supreme confidence in their clothing choices. They don’t care what anyone else thinks because they know that they look good in whatever they choose to adorn themselves in. Sadly for them, their parents will attempt to stifle their creativity: “Whaddya mean I can’t wear my bathing suit to …
Oct 25
Master 4 has started threatening me when he doesn’t get his own way. Visions of his decline into immoral Gangsta activities as he grows older have me fearful for the future. Like any other parent I often question some of my parenting decisions, but how was I to know that it would all go so …
Oct 11
Today at the playground I cried. I cried while watching a little girl, 18 months old, climbing, running across beams and sliding; full of energy and not a care in the World. I cried because my two-and-three-quarter-year-old daughter used to be just like that. I cried because the ladders Briannah used to scamper up were …
Oct 04
Grab your girlfriends and pour the wine. It’s time for a thrilling evening in front of the T.V. getting sloshed while you watch X Factor Mama. The camera pans along the crowd lining the street; their cheers getting louder as the Judges drive past in their limos. A woman appears on screen jumping around in …
Oct 01
It’s time for yet another thrilling instalment of They Searched What? and Answers to the big questions. It’s been a while since the last one and, ermahgerd, the search engines have been busy sending crackpots people my way. For all you pervy women who’ve found my blog in your search for a sexy man in the kitchen, …
Sep 15
When The Bearded Iris and The Suniverse announced they were going to be holding a Craft Whores contest, I knew it was time to get my creative juices flowing again. Since my mind is terribly inappropriate at the best of times, the hardest part for me was deciding which one of my naughty ideas should …
Sep 07
“Let the 2345 Mating Games begin,” announced the host of the show. Chlamydia stood in line, waiting her turn to choose a topic as a conversation starter with her potential mate. Nervously flicking her mane of blonde hair, she reached into the bucket and pulled out a ball with the word ‘history’ written on it. …
