In a time before kids came along
My butt cheeks spilled nicely from my thong
Rounded and firm, they were perfect to grasp
And bending over caused men to gasp
Then a bit of fun under the sheet
Had spermies racing to an egg so sweet
Her suitor she found, the rest got the flick
And before long I was peeing on a stick
Then my belly began to swell
and along with that, my butt as well
Industrial strength knickers replaced the thong
Crikey! Those cheeks could rival King Kong
Now my bum remains well covered
For fear of others being bothered
By the site of something that shouldn’t be seen
Spilling over my jeans is a butt that’s obscene
SAY NO TO CRACK!
This poem is dedicated to all those mums out there who really, really should be wearing mum jeans!
I love receiving your comments so do feel free to leave me one. And if you could just click on the Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Moms and vote for me, I’ll be very, very grateful and won’t flash any of my butt cleavage in your direction.
8 comments
Heather Bogolyubova
March 7, 2012 at 1:05 pm (UTC 12)
Hilarious!
White trash
March 7, 2012 at 7:36 pm (UTC 12)
I reckon it’s a sweet looking butt
Sue
March 7, 2012 at 8:31 pm (UTC 12)
Ooh I’m so putting out tonight!
Jodi Aman
March 9, 2012 at 1:06 pm (UTC 12)
I think my butt got smaller, I have no time to eat, so busy I am running around after the kiddos
Mercy
March 10, 2012 at 4:02 pm (UTC 12)
Great poem and all too true.
I hate the size I got to with each pregnancy, and the giant panties too. Eww. I used to love g’s but have recently given them up in favor of the comfort of hipsters, cause it may be a while before my butt gets back to the size it used to be.
Gino
March 20, 2012 at 4:53 pm (UTC 12)
hi, fantastic page, and an amazing understand! 1 for my bookmarks.
Pete
March 20, 2012 at 7:38 pm (UTC 12)
Show us your tits instead then.
hollow tree ventures
September 14, 2012 at 5:19 am (UTC 12)
Ha! Unfortunately so true – but funny!