Kids say the darnedest things – Part 2

Following on from Kids say the darnedest things – part 1 (which, incidently, resulted in a number of people finding my blog with the search term “Freddie Mercury’s mum”), I present to you Part 2.

-∞-

Master K (aged nearly 4): I’m a tiger, but I don’t roar
Me: What do you do then?
K: I just talk. And catch worms.
Yep, that sounds exactly like a tiger to me.

-∞-

Nine year old girl at the swimming pool to her Dad, “I’ve got a rash in my scrotal area.”

-∞-

K: Do you know why they catch fish and we eat it?
Me: No I don’t. *waits for something profound to come out of a 3 year-old’s mouth*
K: Because they catch fish and we eat it.
Ah yes, that explains it.

-∞-

When telling Miss 2 that it was time to get out the bath: “I not get out bath. It not sexy clock yet.”

-∞-

K: “I’ve got some money” he said, proudly showing off a ten cent piece. “I’m going to the supermarket to buy some juice, ham steaks and potatoes. Oh, and an ant for Daddy to eat.”
Bet Daddy will love that.*

-∞-

After visiting Te Papa Museum where we experienced the earthquake house, watched footage of the sun, and saw  various sea creatures:
K: I really liked when we were in the shaking house and the stingray swam through and blasted fire onto the TV and then the stingray turned into a car.

Crikey, what was in that muffin we bought him?

-ω-

K came running to me, looking very concerned, with his shoulders right back and his hands up his back touching his shoulder blades.
Me: “What’s the matter darling?”
K: “Mummy, I’ve got big boobies on my back,” he sobbed.
And proving that I’m ready to accept my Parent of the Year Award for consoling my distraught child…
Me: “Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.”

* Actually one time when Daddy had had a few too many, he thought it would be a good idea to lick a row of ants. Did you know that licking ants will cause your tongue/mouth to go numb? Oh how we laughed when he found that one out.