Bloggers like to give out awards to other bloggers, which is really nice and creates a wonderful sense of community in the Blogosphere. In fact the lovely Sarah from Daily Messes passed on ‘The Liebster Blog Award’ to me, and in doing so made me feel all warm and mushy inside at a time when I really needed to feel that way. Then Kristina from There’s no Time for Pants gave me ‘The Versatile Blogger Award’ for having the balls to ermahgerdify myself (and then she went and ermahgerdified herself which made me so happy).
Whilst I appreciate the sentiment behind these awards, and am honoured that people like me enough to pass them on to me, I do have a problem with the fact that you then have to answer set questions about yourself and pass it on to a set number of other bloggers, much like a chain letter. My blog is pretty special to me and an extension of my personality, so I’m not keen on having someone else dictate what I should post on it.
This blog is so awesome it farts Unicorns Award
However, in the spirit with which these awards are intended, I will answer three questions I came up with that are a tad more interesting than the what’s-your-favourite-colour type. Plus, because I’m totally awesome nuts, I’ve come up with a new award to pass around. There are no rules with this one. Pass it on to someone you think is awesome, or don’t. It doesn’t matter. If you receive this award you can pop it on your site, do a post about it, or answer bizarre questions about yourself, but all of those are optional. You can even award it to yourself. Who’s going to know?
Stuff about me that you didn’t realise you wanted to know
If you were going to kill me, what would you put in my food?
A) chopped up liver from the pufferfish
B) liquidised Cane Toad tadpole
C) arsenic
D) celery
The answer, of course, would be celery. Yes. Really.
Which do you find funnier, farts or queefs?
Queefs, definitely. Even the word is funny. As men find farting to be the ultimate in humour (okay I do too), feminist movements should be using queefs as proof that women are superior to men since men can only fart from one orifice.
The best thing about queefs is that they always occur at the most inappropriate moment, there’s no way of stopping them, and they don’t smell. Just like me really!
What colour knickers would you wear on a date with your favourite celebrity?
Duh! I wouldn’t be wearing knickers. Johnny Depp is a busy man so lets not waste time wrestling with my giant panties.
Bloggers worthy of the “This blog is so awesome it farts Unicorns” Award
These girls make me laugh so hard, and if I ever got the chance to meet them I’d have no choice but to hump their legs. Go stalk them, but not in the creepy way that I do.
In alphabetical order
Bad Parenting Moments
Glen’s Life
Hollow Tree Ventures
Hot Mess Mom
Just Keep Swimming
Let Me Start by Saying
My Life and Kids
Motherhood WTF
Naps Happen
Ninja Mom
Old Dog New Tits
Paige Kellerman
People I want to punch in the throat
Parenting: Illustrated with crappy pictures
The Bearded Iris
The Bloggess
The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva
I know I’ve missed out some more awesome blogs that I stalk, but my brain is a bit mushy today so I’ll have to pimp them when my head comes out of the fog.
Oh and if you like my blog you could always award me with the award I created. Now that would be spiffing. Or you could tell everyone else how Unicorn-fartingly awesome it is so they can chortle, snigger or guffaw as appropriate when they read my ravings. It’s a win-win situation for all, but especially me.
Best award ever!! I am totally honored to be on this list. Thank you!
Thanks honey. Your blog cracks me up.
Best award ever!
Yay, you totally deserve this award too
I’m gonna agree with everyone that this is the best award ever. Fo realz. Thank you! I’m honored to be mentioned in such great company. You’re a peach and I can’t wait to post about it!
That’s awesome. Can’t wait to read your post – but only if you want to do one.
Farting a unicorn sounds terribly painful. But thanks!
It’s ok, the horn is retractable.
A) BEST. AWARD. EVER.
B) May be the first time I’ve seen the word “queef” in 15 years.
C) Will not be the last time I see and/or say “queef”
D) ‘the horn is retractable’ just made me spit my coffee. And then I queefed.
Thank you! I don’t do the awards stuff.. I always appreciate them.. but I don’t do them. I am Sooooo doing this one… and will proudly display my Unicorn button.
oh, and ps~ come to Million Milf March and you, I and Old Dog New Tits can have a hump fest.
I don’t think queef is said often enough in polite company, so I’m hoping to increase its usage. So far its made an appearance in 3 of my posts, and it’s bound to find its way into more.
I would love to come to the Million Milf March, but it’s a bit far to go from little old New Zealand. I’ll be there in spirit, dry humping you when you least expect it.
Ok, this is freaking hysterical. I was referred to your blog while attending BlogHer this past weekend and it does not disappoint! New blog goal- have it farting unicorns.
Yay, so glad to have you here. Farting unicorns is a most excellent goal to have.
This really is the best award ever. I don’t know which I like better, the badge or the rules.
Thanks, lady!
Oh the rules, definitely the rules.
Bwahahaha! Oh my Lawd, that badge is a HOOT! But I will not be farting a unicorn, thank you. Even with a retractable horn, you still have those four hooves and Harry Potter to eek out. (Dammit, Amber, you totally beat me to the punch.)
But I thank you anyway because I like farts and unicorns (just not together) and YOU!
xo!
Leslie
It’s a magical unicorn. It retracts its horn and hooves then turns into a mystical gas before being bombarded with laser rainbows or ninjas or something to solidify it. See, I’ve totally thought this out.
I heart your award!
Can we get back to the celery killing? Is that really a thing? How do you do ants on a raft?
I don’t. I’m seriously allergic to celery.
This award is the best! Second only to “My Blog Pees Rainbows” which of course I have won thrice. Just kidding. But if there was such an award, clearly I would be a recipient. Glad I discovered your blog through ‘Finding The Funny.’
Love it! Thank you for the prestigious mythical animal farting award! Glad to hear that it is not actually as painful as it sounds.
I just laughed so much a bit of wee came out! :-O
That is why the Poise pads come out when it’s time to read all my favourite funny bloggers.
I’m back!
You were one of the most clicked links at last week’s #findingthefunny. We’re featuring you tomorrow (and I’m pinning this). Thanks for linking up!
Perfect award, and perfect list of picks–all incredibly funny ladies. And the award title is slighly more cacthy than “Leibster”.
THat’s an awesome award. It reminds me of my friend who cannot sing and got together with a bunch of other girls who cannot sing and started their own awful a cappela group called Crapappella. They even had t-shirts made! If you can’t spoof yourself, who can????
Awesome award. How can you not smile when you get an award like that.
Hilarious, and thank you for reminding me that us women are still more talented than men.
Thanks for linking up on the Blog Hop this week!
You are welcome. Feel free to queef as a show of solidarity.
A great plan but — more men need to be there – or at least one….
Wow, will you look at that – one of the funniest man-blogs just magically appeared!