One of the things I love about blogging is checking out my site stats, and in particular, the search terms people typed that brought them to me.
Some people have come my way in their search for answers to the big questions, so I shall now endeavour to help them.
1. Tiger head up vs tiger head down?
Well, this is just my theory, but if the tiger’s head is up then they’re more likely to see you than if their head is down. This is probably worthwhile remembering if you don’t want to be eaten by one.
Here’s some pictures to help illustrate my point.
2. Why do trolls hide under bridges?
I suspect it’s because they’re hiding from all the people they’ve pissed off on the Interweb thingee.
3. Why have i got faries?
I tried Googling faries in the hope that it was some sort of communicable disease, but it turns out that you just made a spelling mistake. Here is the correct spelling – fairies. You’re welcome.
You probably acquired your fairies by saying the magic words that enabled them to cross the realm into our World.
P.S. You’re stuck with them now.
4. How does a child’s brain work?
At birth a baby’s brain is wired to make the heart beat and to breathe, but there are 100 billion or so neurons ready to form more than 50 trillion connections (synapses). Early-childhood experiences exert a dramatic and precise impact, physically determining how the intricate neural circuits of the brain are wired. This means that each child’s brain will be wired a little differently.
But if you actually want an understanding of what’s going on in their little heads, then this drawing by Melissa Balmain should help.
5. Why do kids say pie?
Mmmmm pie. Well, assuming your kids aren’t mathematical geniuses who are actually saying pi, I’m guessing that they’re just hungry for a bit of deliciousness wrapped in pastry.
Or it could just be that you’re totally mishearing what they’re saying.
6. Why are dinosaurs so stubborn?
This is one of those life questions that I regularly ask myself. Every time I pop back in time a few million years I wonder why these creatures won’t do as they’re told. I suspect it has something to do with how big they are and how much I look like lunch.
I hadn’t realised that my blog was such a den of pervesevness until people started finding it with the term ‘bumholing’. What’s worse is that when I told the story of my son bumholing at the beach, I didn’t realise it was an actual word or what it meant. Bet the people who were looking for it were pretty disappointed when they got to my blog. Maybe they should get together with the people who found me with the searches ‘Ode to my butt’, ‘butt crack’, or ‘dirty behaviour’.
And finally, it makes my heart soar to know that search engines know me well enough to be able to direct people to my blog when they’re searching for ‘just plain weird’.