If you’ve read The toddler guide to tantrums and How to achieve the perfect Mummy tantrum then, no doubt, you’ve been eagerly anticipating instructions on how to achieve the perfect Daddy tantrum.
This is too funny not to add to this post, even 'though it has nothing to do with tantrums.
How to achieve the perfect Daddy tantrum
A tantrum should generally follow these lines:
1. Anger at something -
- Your team lost their game
- You’ve run out of beer
- Your wife is too busy doing housework instead of keeping the kids from annoying you
- Your kids interrupted when you were watching motorbike racing just as the cameraman was going for the under shot of an Umbrella Girl.
2. Screaming - Screaming? That’s for girls. Your manly roar would have grizzly bears clutching their testicles in fear of what’s about to be unleashed upon them.
3. Violence - Stomp out to the garage. Pick up the first tool you find and throw it across the room. Watch as it bounces off the wall into the big pile of junk that you need to take to the tip.
4. Sadness - Realise that was the only imperial sized spanner that you own, and that you needed it to fix your child’s bike that you promised you would do today.
5. Hope – see a bit of metal poking out of the pile of rubbish
6. Despair – it’s the spanner, but it’s broken.
7. Inspiration – Woohoo, time to go tool shopping. Let your wife know that you’re popping out to the tool store and you’re taking the kids with you.
8. Anticipation – You’re so getting some tonight!